Keep Me in the Wild

It's Friday already , the Week  flew by so quick . I took videos and pictures and so many of them .

 Heres how it went ...

A little recap of life this week , I finished the week with hearing from an old friend, and a never ending ted talk session with someone in my life .

The one thing that I find so irritating is that I have to always be arguing my side of the story to the same person about the same thing. I've come to figure out that , my side won't ever be heard so , I'm tired . 

My soul has been exhausted , and my anxiety has been racing at 100 bpm. (no exaggeration ) One thing that I learned about myself is that maybe, just maybe I might have social anxiety; On top of how I feel. 

Than this ---->

Let me explain what happened to me and you can kind of tell me if it's me or just something else . A while back like two months ago , I experienced something so horrible . Ugh ! here I go!! (sorry I hate remembering )

I had to go to Costco on an errand , mind you I went late in the evening and as you can imagine this place was a mad house , it was so effin packed. People everywhere , I felt like I was walking into a scene of the walking dead . These people really made me feel suffocated , as I'm walking around I begin  feeling so nervous , my head starts spinning I started feeling so nauseous . OmG it was the worst , my asthma starts kicking in at this point I have completely  forgotten what I even came to get . 

I walked out with my head down and began to run , i stop by my car and suddenly I realized shit I can't be here ...While sitting in my car I suddenly feel safe ; safe from the world , from everything ( so it made sense in my head ) . I finally start driving off . I bump loud music so that way I can distract myself and not think.

This has to be my turning point .. I can't be in a place full of people all at once .

It is the scariest feeling , I've never felt this way until now . I've never encountered something so intense .

So now If I have to go somewhere I have to be there as soon as it opens, where everyone is asleep or barley getting there.

My little tribe hates that , I hear; " mom why so early , mom Im tired , It's to early " (it's repetitive).... 

But , this is something I can't budge . 

xoxo-

yess