Half Asleep and I still can't feel my eyes

I keep seeking the way that I want to be perceived in the blog world. I have creative ideas and things that I want to do on this particular platform . I just find myself lost on how blogger actually works and what seems to work. Im not sure ,if I can really get an audience by not posting everyday  or what not. However, I have read that the only way to actually be genuine is too be yourself and kind of stick it through without even really trying . My reality is that I've been doing this for a really long time since 2008 , and I still haven't mastered my craft . What, I will say is that the only important craft that have actually mastered is being a mom. And Im guessing that at this  point that is all that matters regardless of what anything. HAPPY SUNDAY TOO ALL THE MOMMYS OUT THERE!

Mother to Mother

What's the worst thing or experience you've ever had with your child?

This happened years ago when my oldest was about a year in a half.  I recall bits in pieces because it was just that long ago.

Havens Febrile Seizure

 

(google search )

Definitional febrile seizure, also known as a fever fit or febrile convulsion, is a seizure associated with a high body temperature but without any serious underlying health issue. They most commonly occur in children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years. Most seizures are less than five minutes in duration and the child is completely back to normal

                It was sometime during the summer in Long Beach in our first apartment in Bixby knolls it was one of those nasty hot summers, where being in a house with no air condition existed ,  I have no idea why they didn't have heaters or air conditioners. But that morning Haven my oldest was getting over his sickness that had been in his system for about a week, and he was already recovering. or so I thought he was . Me and alex felt that he was ok so why not take him to the beach it was basically only right there . So why not go . We called my nephew and niece and invited them to join us. So we drive to their house and pick them up . They hope in the back of the car with haven. As we are driving I turn back to see of he was ok , but he seemed a bit sleepy or just tired, but I thought well he's probably sleepy . So, we get to the beach get out of the car and just go sit on the bare sand , we didn't have a shade or a blanket , the sand felt hot but tolerable. Time passes by were playing volleyball we sit back down and all of a sudden my son passes out . His eyes and tongue rolled back and  he isn't respond . We grab a wipe and try to wet his face with it so the coolness of the wipe can help him freshen up .(mind you the whole time , I'm crying , and sobbing praying and asking god not to take my son)  Nothing , after a quick minute or so we call the ambulance and they are here within minutes, by the time they arrive Haven starts waking up. He's a bit dizzy looks so pale , but I'm just grateful that my son is awake . They take his vitals and strap us to the gurney . Man my heart felt so numb and sad for those minutes ,I couldn't believe this was happening to me . what had I'd done wrong I'm thinking as they take us to the hospital. As we get off the take us to a room , and by this time the doctor us there and ready to help us. My sister and mom are on there way , and I'm so out of it . it's like I'm feeling numb but at the same time out of it , than feeling irresponsible ,because this is all my fault for taking him to a place that he's unaware of . We didn't have too go , I'm so selfish .
The doctor gives his diagnose , he had a febrile seizure where his fever got out of control due to the sun beaming on his head which triggered the fever to spike . I was totally unaware he even had a fever . At this point the doctor said he was ok to be discharged because his vitals were back to normal .

Wow! talk about heartbreaking . For the first time in my life I've felt like something had slipped away from me . I still carry this pain of guilt for what happened to him . After that time I had to be careful because ,the febrile seizure are more common until the age of five . So I'm having to make sure to be careful with him . From that point on I stayed paranoid to take him to the beach whenever he doesn't look well. Or anywhere for that matter. And because of that traumatized event I carry a huge bag full of almost everything. Thermometer, ice packs that are like pebbles and you only use when needed, Emergency kit, Pepto Bismol_ children's pills, waters, extra clothing etc. You name it and more likely I have it in my bag this very moment. we just never know with kids.

It's surprising how one moment , just one moment of irresponsibility can possibly change your life forever.

What I took from this experience ;to carry everything; to be aware of how my children at all times . look and feel too see if they are okay.

 and never to take for granted all the moments I have with them . things happen and we just never know ..........................

 

(he's 7 now ,these were pictures that I took last year when we went up by lake Hemet)

Orion and Haven

Oh my baby boy..