Hanging in there....

It's honestly been the craziest two days , my brain is on a scatter trip .. in my life i have only felt like this a handful of times.. nothing crazy before ,but not this time...it was bad , i couldn't grasp my routine .. like there was a moment where i felt lost , and it wasn't till the end of the day that i was able to get a hold of myself ..literally , maybe because our school day was ending or somehow i regained my energy and focus, I'm not even sure ... but in the end it all worked out .. and I'm not driving myself crazy ... i feel a bit more calm just waking up at this time is no help. everyday I'm up at 3-4 am with my brain at ease...im having mental fights like whyyyyyyy!! i just want to sleeeeep!!! i mean because i will feel it later...and to top it off i have job interview friday , and that makes me nervous, but hopeful ... so i have to get my everything together and get it going!!! ahhhh! yeah I'm feeling the heat ..........however i will the you this ..
homeschooling has it's perks and loopholes, and it takes time to adjust too. its totally different from the public school system .. i prefer (homeschool) over public school. in a lot of ways it's better, see most teachers aren't pay a great deal , and because the aren't i feel like they just kind of give up and just teach to teach ... Not all , but think of it there is no passion or heart in some cases..The reason i even mention something like this is because  i experienced it. And it's really sad and understandable , if that makes any sense . My kids should enjoy learning. Not feel icky when they wake up too go to school only to find out the teacher is always screaming at him or he's being bullied and the teachers disregard those situations..(this shietttt aint cool)  so, instead of making a fuss at the school i take matters into my own hands , and here we are now ..(enough of that )

Overall the day was good , the science lesson was awesome   we had circle time and danced away our day ... thanks too youtube for having all kinds of kiddy songs too dance too that even my one year old joins the fun. ha! back to  another day of schedules and lesson planning ....

peace-

zoe in serious thought while haven and aiden get ready for the camera (kodak moment )

Back at it again...

    Two months ago I would have never thought that I would be homeschooling again. The plan originally was to move to the city and comeback to the valley and get the ball rolling . The boys would go to traditional public school, and that was that. But as you know we make plans and life says  "yeah right"...
      As a parent we know whats best for our children people are always going to have their opinions and criticize our ways , we just can't please everyone .. Whats important is that we seek out whats best for our kids regardless of the worlds view. because at the end of the day we have helped the come along way ... or am i wrong ? I mean we helped them walk , eat , talk etc. you name it .. and not that i don't accept what others tell me its just that I know my kid best thats all.... with all this the good thing is that I have done it before and it's not foreign...
 too be honest I'm excited and nervous but i can't let my little guys see it....its three in the morning and I'm just like wtf! go back to sleep ...(totally off )

..i think I have insomnia (self diagnose) but thats for a different topic..hehe .so what is a mom too do when she has a crazy day ahead of her  write about it , be about it Im kidding about the last part ....so off I go get my lesson ready and get the ball rolling , wait did I say that again...its Monday and I haven't had my coffee so bare with me jibber jabber!!! I love how I can come on here and be like bam !! feelings all laid out and I feel refreshed ...nah literally! i lack friends (on the real) and what better friend than a book or a writing platform..ha! but thats just a whole other conversation. Happy Monday to all !! Mondays still suck for me but I'm a fighter ( not technically , just a saying ) wink, wink. ha!!!!

peace- (throw back lunes)

Half Awake or am I.

I hate being woken up .. by me. yes . It's so hard to fall back asleep with so much on my mind . After leaving the beachyy city things have taken a turn. First of all moving was horrible , i didn't realize that i have so much junk . I say have because I still haven't finished unpacking and organizing , i lack space now and i feel like I'm going crazy.i've hoarded so much that I find it hard too let go , at least  some things... My book shelf broke so all of my books are crying for a shelf .. (exaggerating much) *wink .. *wink... I mean we rented this beautiful apartment in the valley and as beautiful as it is there is no storage space or patio ..The price is crazy but it will do for now , and i need to be grateful. ok ok back to the unpacking it suuuuucks!!! Here I am exactly a week later and i feel stuck . I have been working out , adding some yoga into my routine so that I can take back my sanity .. At one point I felt lost..and the great thing about yoga is that it lets me remind myself that my value is great and there is no reason to feel lost  . In knowing of how privileged I am for being alive and well. I get these moments , that I can't shake off and then boom they are gone. I almost feel all over the place ( mind you thats my normal state) . There is something so great about rebooting my yoga mojo, that I come to terms with, and accept the gift of my stillness.. being a momma isn't always  quiet, but it's rewarding... and I as I type  i start starring into blank walls is that makes an sense ..

so here I am at 1:38 am. California time and i can't sleep ..and in four hours i'll be at the gym half asleep..ahh! man I gonna feel it laterrrrr.. here are just some things that we have been up too lately .. i really love nature it's so pure a genuine ...

sorry , i know I'm ranting away but I'm wiring my head around this insomnia. 

have a good Sunday !!! wink wink....

Typical

So Much and Not enough time

I have been so gone from this space . It's been a gazillion years and counting , I'm half asleep....and i hear snores all around .... ill be back later with updates on this thing called life ..