T I M E

When I think about what this year has been my heart aches, and quietly cries. This year has been short of great. I can say that it has been so HARD....

With my kids father leaving me for another women , moving on so swiftly with no care in the world I feel as If this pain will never go away . I settle for less then I deserve , dating someone who treats me worst then he did ... What am I really searching for?

Sometimes nothing seems to help , I have some great people  but this is beyond that .

As I sit here and just contemplate and text away with my good friend , why ?

Do we women settle for less? Why can't we accept the solitude for what it is and just live and enjoy each moment ?

My conclusion is we were accustomed , and we lived in such a way that always involved family .

However, it's always better to let go and heal . I've learned this the hard way to be completely honest. Sometimes it's the hidden pain that we have to go through that helps us see the blessing .

It's a bit of a contradiction . But life itself is just this way ..

One thing that I have learned is that dating SUCKS! It's hard and complicated , I feel like  trust has become a great issue.  Trust within myself , trust in others , and how can I be happy when I don't trust .

Im just slowly learning to be with myself , and accept the trials and tribulation that arrises.

Life isn't always bad ; but complicated .. I know many women that are going through emotional withdrawals , heart aches , and everything else in between ..

It's hard!

Im ranting but this is my journey  to recovery , it's not easy ...

11.26.2019

It' S beginning to look like like I am about to stuff my face kind of holiday ...

If i am honest I'm dreading it , because the after math is no joke, loosing weight during these holidays is like me trying to run in the water " IMPOSSIBLE"!!

I ask myself what is so glamorous about thanksgiving , and the answer is NOTHING !!

 But it is however another reason too glam up and lets not pretend that the frozen  bird won't break through the frozen seals in my fridge   and gobble me up instead ....

It sounded better in my head ...

However, this year has been fucking hard and beautiful all at the same time.

November seems to bring a beautiful scent in the air... I love it , really who doesn't !

In all honesty , I was dreading the holidays solo.. Since splitting from my significant other life has been ugly , sad, anxious, and chaotic.

But quietly mending...... too be continue!