Enjoyed things•

a little bit of goodness

I had a gut feeling to come on here today . I guess the idea of recalling things and having them noted so that I don't forget is better ... Have you ever had a great feeling of doing something but yet the fear of being alone  , becomes the reason for not doing it?. Yeah I felt that way yesterday. I had to run some errands yesterday that involved driving from one end of the city to the other. Driving with two kids isn't always easy , but its fun when you find yourself bumping little Einstein's and the car next to you giggles while staring at you like your crazy. There are perks you see; to having children  what ( well you get to justify your actions because you do have kids , and children need to be entertained ). ha!
 We had stopped to buy some carls jr. prior to heading to the mothers market , that is located in area where a lot of homeless people hangout . Sort of the ghetto minus the gangsters, there are a lot of empty business buildings , so maybe that's why I see them every time  I go.  It is a sad sight. The US being one of the wealthiest countries and this is what we have too show for it. *shakes head*. I had bought a burger and basically let it sit there while I went into the market to pick up some goods. Once we got out and in the car I seen this elderly man walking with a cart full od bedding,  blankets and other things.  I can't really just go up to people given that I am by myself with two kids. I drove off feeling so guilty , here I am with a burger sitting on the passenger side . I kept asking the lord for forgiveness , because I had not given this man some food. I would redeem myself, and that I had promised . Forward several hours passed when I had to pick up my son from school . and we all set  off to Costco which is again on the other side of town. We finally went in came out and lets go, it's kind of a drag going to Costco its always so packed. As we made a stop I seen a couple who look rather young  and a baby in a stroller  with a sign asking for money . I didn't think about it twice, I rolled down my window and hand them some money. After I drive off , I'm thinking wow the struggle is real ..I head by Joann's and too my left I see a man with his belongings and with also a sign up asking for help. I  go through the drive thru order some food and extra food ,we drive out and I hand him the food and a couple of bucks. Honestly, it seems surreal these series of events. The lord really hears our hearts . As a human race we might not be able to save the world , but we can change the life of one person . No I'm not rich but for charity there is no social standard, its what's right . The lord is a great example of this. I am a strong believer of uplifting some ones spirit , we are all struggling in one way or another, but when we give a helping hand our struggle doesn't seem as bad anymore.
p.s.
It's amazing how the lord works in mysterious ways, he's always by our side guiding us all he ask for is for us to listen to him.

This weekend.

(Instagram photos)

I can honestly say it was a very nice Halloween . The night was perfect , by that I mean the weather . It seem as if people were in the Halloween spirit this year. A lot of homes were decorated , they looked so inviting .  everyone we saw was in a costume . Ah! It was nice , quiet and peaceful night. With all this said this year we did things a bit different; we drove up to Moreno Valley to meet up with my little nephew and mom so we could celebrate together.(given that my brother and sister in law were on a trip) My babies  really enjoyed it. That was all that counted. So I can say with certainty that this day went down in the books 2015 totally rocked .

friday(the day where all the fun starts)

We (Alex and I) drove up to long beach this morning and given that this is my current age , and I was waiting for my mother I thought why not. (Instagram is always there to create the right moment. 0ver the dirty pavement )  Drive up to the valley to drop of my mother at my brothers ; now I am sitting in the car listening to Sinatra , while I wait for Alex. My babes are asleep in the back , and here I am blogging on my phone . Thank goodness for technology .

Been a long time : Spiritul awakening and everything else in between

I can't recall the last time I was here . It really sucks being without a computer ; Man there is just so much that I have been doing , and not doing  and blogging has been one of them. Ever since having my Daughter all I have focused has been on my babies. I somewhat have forgotten to document it. She turn Eight months already and all I have are Instagram pictures. Don't get me wrong instagram is great , but being able to get back here is better, Not only that but my camera is jammed with forest pictures, travel adventures , and endless baby moments that I want to share (maybe another time).

      Well a lot has been going on .. I'm not sure I just repeated what I said , but man I can't reiterate this enough.  I'm so glad to have this  place to kind of vent what I went through .Nothing bad , just that I have come to realize that the older I'm getting  the choices that I make affect my family. The days of only your choice hurting oneself  are over . Why I say this , well because my insecurity has gotten the best of me , well it did for almost  four years. Being an unsure person sure is the most obnoxious thing to live with. I hate it and maybe somewhat I still I am , confidence isn't my forte . I promise I am working on it, really hard. This notion of being somewhat focused and ready to take on the world and knowing what we want so we can labeled as a success or failure is somewhat bothersome. Shit what planet am I living on . (shakes head)   Well , as I was saying about what I was going through. I had been struggling with the idea of my religion. I know right , wtf! moment . Why ? what is there to struggle with . hmm !! lets see , well I was born into a catholic household full force catholic we believed in saints and went to confessions every other Friday growing up. That was I was accustomed too then . Forward years later , I made a choice to change my religion. Why? because I felt a bit disconnected , lost and unaware of how great it is to be near our savior. You would think that  after all those years of attending church I'd be all there, and nothing would be missing in my heart and soul, yeah that would be the idea. But after certain life events seven years ago , I had this urge to make a life changing decision. And I did , I converted into and LDS member aka a Mormon. And wow , it was amazing and I was loving every bit of it . We moved out of our ward and it all changed . Or maybe I am the one  that changed am not sure anymore , the point is that I started to debate whether or not to continue  going to church . I started to feel isolated , weirded out by people and plain uncomfortable. Here I am a mother of three unable to show my children that I am capable of  stepping outside of my comfort zone, and just be myself. Shit ! I suck . After all I can always return to the faith I have always knew, and not give up anything for my sake. So I begin attending mass, with the hope of basically joining again , and not having this mind debate with myself . It was just that easy (or so that's what I thought).   I was so serious that I went into the directory to ask about baptism for  my children and husband and reconverting . At first the lady at the reception was nice and all, but she wasn't that sure about what I had to do to convert back . SO she sends me back to the lady in charge of the catcism classes and what not . At  a glance the lady seemed eager to help me  with whatever I was going through, that is until I told her that I had left the faith and joined the LDS church . She stepped back , and gave me this awkward look  and told me that it would take me almost two years to convert back and that I need to attend  a mass where I would in front of a whole crowd profess my love for the catholic faith. Ok I am a stage freight kind of human , so I thought ugh no , are you serious , I never heard of this . I never had to do this before , what am I joining  a cult .  I immediately got this pondering deep in my chest , that made me get up excuse myself and leave. Like the lord was telling me that what I was trying to do just isn't good for me. How can something that was so right before seem so wrong now? I'm not sure  about anything anymore. The years came and went and yet nothing. Not until recently , that this self doubt , and debate with myself has ended. Where my prayers have been answered. It was time for me to return  to a place were now I call home . Where all this discomfort is gone , I feel I have accepted myself and I feel full. I can't quite explain how or why , but its this gut prompting that I always go by and follow , that I feel a sense of certainty , where there was none .  Its something of thee unknown. I tripped a lot in order to understand that everything I do reflects on my children , how I raise them now  will be a reflection of who they become late in life .  And I know that in todays world , men and women need that spiritual bond that seems so lost today, and I feel the need to show my children; That when my they fall , they get up and speak to god, so they can seek help and guidance and learn to know him and be more like him.  I feel and live that when you become more spiritual with whatever works for oneself you tend to gravitate  to be more in tune , and creative. Like everything seems more simple and positive.

This is what I want to instill in my children .To become  genuine good human beings.  With that being said , this trial I endured was good for me. This made me understand what is good for the soul is good for the human kind of scenario.

See religion is important , time away from the world is important, being able to be still in a chaotic time is important and fighting with all my insecurities  has made me gain perspective on how to be a better parent to my children and choose what's important for my children , rather that what is that I need now in order to fulfill my temporary pleasure if that makes any sense.

It sounds better in my head I promise . But yes , I was gone for a long time figuring out this dilemma that is so important to me .

•enjoyed things .•

We visited the science center in LA, it was amazing! 

 My oldest is into goosebumps , bookstore trips.We watched the movie  the day before his birthday .

We visited our first pumpkin patch out in Yucaipa .

Early Mornings..

I got up so early this morning, let me rephrase this , it's actually still really early in the morning 4 am to say the least.
 Writing my thoughts down for the day seems to be getting me by today well were do i start . Oh o.k , well yesterday we went to visit my mother in law way out in the middle of nowhere .. At least that is what it felt like .It was my Alex's brothers graduation, and they had a little something before the actual ceremony , it was all great till ;their dog bit my son on the leg. Very traumatizing if you tell me , especially for my son who is six and loves dogs . Apparently the moms husband let the dogs out of the garage unaware that my kids were in the back playing , and didn't bother to ask if they were outside.  It was horrifying , i felt that my heart sank into my chest. Grateful that he's o.k and that there was no major bone damage or nerve touch from this bite.

As we were driving back  home where Urgent Care is located , I thought wow! ,in a split second everything can change from good to bad.

After all this mayhem , we went to the  Ihop  restaurant  to console my son  with some pancakes given that he was asking for them when he got out of urgent care. All in all hes well and recovering , poor little guy of mine>grateful to the lord for taking care of him.

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It seems like  yesterday that I have been on my blog . My computer is down and  I can't really download any pictures except  from my phone and well lets face it those pictures are as a beautiful as the ones from a camera. But I have to work from what I have ...

Everything has been good around here , my daughter is turning 4 months in a week , my son is getting out of school this Friday coming up and life has really good... So morning cheers from my cup of tea to yours and have a great weekend..

Giving Birth for the third time and how I feel about it

I'm pregnant with my third baby , and I'm three weeks away and I'm feeling the jitters. It's a beautiful thing to bring someone into this world a little human being that we can call our own . As a mom I think we all have those oh no moments  that can feel overwhelming. It has really been on my mind this idea that I will be back in the OhR (operating room).. A lot of things are a bound to change .

I've always wanted a big family . why? well because I come from a very small one and I just love that feeling of warmth that a family brings . Obviously , nothing is perfect ..But this has always been a dream of mine. The truth is that I never thought this would actually happen , and here I am about to have my third one .(I'm rambling my bad, i can;t help myself)) It's such  a beautiful miracle. But when anyone goes into an operating room there is just no knowing how things may go . But I want to think positive even though deep down inside I'm freaking out. 

This pregnancy has been really, really different in so many ways. First of all I'm having a little girl , I already have two beautiful boys , secondly she moves so much  I almost feel as if she wan'ts to crawl out of my belly  ( obviously she couldn't) but it sure feels like it. I am so tired , I feel like I can't breathe and her feet are in my rib cage (very uncomfortable). Lastly, I can't sleep right I'm tossing and turning all night , changing my pillows constantly , moving from one side to the other and this insomnia is outrageous ( i'm only 36 weeks)... All this is very new to me (believe me), I guess it's true what they say "every pregnancy is different'' ( so not a lie).  I've been to the Labor and Delivery room one , two many times .But with all this said, I  would not  change this  experience for the world, I've known of women who are trying to get pregnant that really can't so I'm grateful in every sense of the word, it's just been totally different.

All in all , it's been a wild ride but I'm fortunate enough to be in it.

 Being a mom has changed me in many ways , we start to understand our parents that much more and all that they have ever done for us and are still doing . We are always thier priority even after being so old, and I always remind myself that all the sacrifices that they endured might just be mines also. There are certain decisions that need to be a priority sometimes that boggle a parents mind, being a parents makes you that much more paranoid about the earthly things going on . It's crazy but  it's wonderful, if that makes sense.