Dia De Los Muertos

We actually passed the date for the day of the dead . It begins the day after halloween , through the second of November. It was awesome, the kids really enjoyed themselves , this year was a bit different . We attended really early so the kids can do crafts and enjoy the goodies, the made dream catchers , sugar skulls , painted skull pictures and cut outs .. It was fun , there wasn't as many people as there is during the night time. Some altars weren't full displayed but the ones we saw  were amazing.  Every year we come with the purpose of getting my kids in tune with our roots, and to help them understand death and what it means to us . It's scary but it's real, and they get it ..or so they do a little bit. But they love this event, and thats all that matters. Happy Day of the dead....

#yogaeveryday

I don't know anyone who hasn't heard of yoga. It's a universal movement that helps heal the soul. I know that once I get my yoga teaching certification  I can help make a change . Help people  feel and look good . I've been doing yoga for about 8 years, so Im sorta new . It was off and on . But I start feeling the effects when I don't get on my mat , your body starts feeling anxiety, stressed. No , seriously it's that powerful, it's like any other physical activity . Exercise is the same way , but after hurting my new running , i cooled it . I still miss the gym but not the knee pain. See this is where yoga comes in , after injuring my knee I thought that was it, no more exercise no more nothing. After weeks of Ice packs , heat therapy blah! the pain reduced but the cracking didn't . I slowly began a yoga regiment , and here I am months later with no know problems , and until this point things have been great.  Yoga is explained by some yogis that it is about being here , centering the universe in our mind so that we can live to be .. It's not a cat cow pose , or a headstand it's about self evolution. Meditation is so good for our state of minds in my opinion . It grounds  us !  It's always important to be one with earth, and truly create calmness with in ourselves. Why ? There is just so much going on these days . There just more bad than good. But we can't change everything , just ourselves .

Alrighty well Im off to get things going ,start off my day..

I'll be at the day of the dead festival. Im pretty stoked
 NAMASTE
 

FRIIIIDAY !!

FOR A HOME SCHOOL MOTHER IT MEANS A MINI BREAK , TO GET THINGS BACK TO NORMAL SIT BACK AND RELAX. HEY IT'S ALL GOOD TO HAVE SOME ME TIME.. YEAH EVERY NOW AND THEN IT'S COOL.. I REALLY ENJOY THIS TIME WITH MY KIDS , I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT ONCE THEY GROW THINGS SHIFT.. SO FRIDAYS ARE FILLED WITH OUTINGS AND FUN AND JUST ENJOYMENT. NO, NOTHING IS PERFECT BUT ENJOYMENT IS .. WAIT I DON'T THINK THAT WAS A WORD. EH ! IT'S FRIDAY SO MISTAKES ARE OK .. THIS WEEK HAS BEEN A BIT WILD , BUT FULL OF LEARNING .. 

WHEN WE HOME SCHOOL THINGS AREN'T EASY .. MAN IT' A ROLLER COASTER , I MEAN THAT LITERALLY ..BUT  IN MY MIND I'M LIKE WELL TH ATS ACTUALLY WITH EVERYTHING , AM I WRONG ? 

WHATS THE BEST THING ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING , EVERYTHING  WE SET THE TERMS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK IS PROVIDED THROUGH EDUCATORS , AND WE CAN WORK AT THEIR PACE .. AS MUCH AS THEY GIVE US OF WORK , I STILL PRINT OUT THINGS ON LINE SO THAT THERE COULD ALWAYS BE SOMETHING TO WORK ON....

I'M PRETTY STOKED ABOUT THIS WEEKEND WE ARE GOING TO THE DIA DE LOS MUERTOS EVENT IN A CITY NEAR BY .. I'LL POST PHOTOS .. AND MAYBE THE AQUARIUM ON SUNDAY AS A FAMILY OUTING.. SO ALRIGHT YOU GUYS HAVE A TOTALLY BLESSED DAY AND WEEKEND .

" LIFE IS GOOD IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT THAT MAKES IT AMAZING"

-YESS

Yoga and Things

I don't know how it is that I always forget to blog it out . In my head i'm like well this  and this and then I'm already to go  and i get really busy and then thats it , i think i was about to do it and i forget . I have been meaning to come back it's just that so much has been going on lately and school, etc. You guys get it it's life right..

I have however been really up and up with more yoga , it really does make a whole difference in my life. It's so calming , and your just in the moment . I've had my kids all worked up on it and let me tell you kids are natural born yogis , it's the most awesome thing too see. Wish they offered it as an elective for my oldest , but otherwise it's been all good.

Haven turned eight this past Monday and it was a bittersweet day for me, because he's grown up so quick and at the same time I have wondered about where dud the time go .ah! Actually today is my middle child birthday he turns five, he did however make sure to tell me that he wants a big chocolate cake with an xbox control .... hmmm ! hahahah , will see. it's going to be a good day ...birthdays are always fun ..

In other news homeschooling has it's good and its ok moments ..but,  I love that I have my babies near me all day , because one day they will grow up to be adults and do there thing. Sooooooo....

Salud to an awesome Wed. and homeschooling .

What we've been up too!!!

  Today was full of everything ..High and low emotions , and overwhelming findings . Not everything is perfect when we homeschool. Everyday I learn something new from the boys and my daughter.. I enjoy doing what I do , and I rather deal with my children's struggles the have some teacher point them out.  I know it sounds a bit , how do you say the word unconventional to say the least , but i feel that it's whats best... Homeschooling isn't for everyone I'll tell you that but anyone can make it work if they really want too. Where there is a will there is a way.  

In all honesty I am not a fan of the public school system ... Growing up I had so shitty teachers , and guess what I struggled with math so much that as i think of it how in the world did i graduate with that being my worst subject.. i will never know . and many the bullying was worst , i just never turned to my mother to tell her , i lacked that trust and feared what she say...

What many parents and teachers to know is that bullying comes in all kinds of forms and it never goes away , and if parents or teachers are involved it makes things that much worst.. Yeah we can say let them stand for themselves , yeah that's the problem children for the most part a innocent and mean no harm , it's others (kids ) that teach them to create themselves and mold there sense of living for survival . This is common , man do I hear sad stories all the time and the stories are what based on bullying .. There are bullying movements , and this that and the other but as far as I know they don't work .. I rather have my children by me than away .. i know i can't always hover over them or protect them , but while i can I will ... It's not to say that they don't interact with other kids  they do at different settings , the park , church , stores. So  in that aspect I 'm fine .... It's just the bullying that I worry about and the fact that also this generation seems way to ahead of themselves if you know what i mean... all in all , it's been on crazy day We closed out school doing yoga .Now, On to a new chapter in our book of homeschool...

peace-yess

Still...........

Weekend wrap up!

              Woke up this morning back into my crazy ass morning routine aka just waking up for nothing, and man was it a busy weekend(full of  good , bad and the ugly) ...  I'm not use to getting up early in the morning on a Saturday  like 4 am ..... just to get my hustle on ... but this Saturday i did .. and guess what i made some money . Every 6 months up in association where my brother lives they have a yearly community yard sale , and well since i moved near by i was part of it .. it was cool selling my junk for a quarter , i mean it's change that we need when we pay something anyway so i didn't mind selling my clothes a fridge (no that one went for more than a quarter) hahah bikes , etc. And all I can say it was fun and inspiring , well because I've never had aspired to owning a home , and that whole bit but there are just so many opportunities when owning a home , that I have made it my mission to save to get one one day . I thought how cool is this selling shit i don't need ... you know that saying " someones trash is another persons treasure", it was a cool little family event and it made my Saturday fly... there was a couple other incidents that weren't good at the end .. which was a bummer.............

in every family we have issues and disagreements , but when is enough is enough ... at some point after the yard sale i felt shitty .. i know what a quick way too kill the moment and change the tune , but in all honesty I'm still feeling the effects.... it's some hurtful shit !!

Why are there and why do fucked up people exist in ones family??? like why ?? can't that be left out for the world to be that way .... this idea of family unity ,to me is only momentarily , because there is always that person in the family who thinks they are better than you and everyone  in many ways. Or ones that don't allow you to speak because your rhetoric is not good enough . quite frankly it wouldn't matter had this person meant shit too me , but maybe i m shit too them and that's why they treat me as such .. there are other things also , but i guess the best thing too do is too stay away ..steer clear of the drama.  Ugh ! i hate talking or even bringing things like these up , but this is the only outlet that doesn't judge me .  sorry i just had too somewhat vent ...

In other news , Sunday was full of tacos and lots and lots of football. The colts lost and  in my opinion its the coaching staffs fault. How??  the offense and defense have a coach, so do special teams etc. And when a quarter back is being hit , sacked  over and over and there is no protection for him than there is where the problem lys .... The quarterback does what the coach says , and if there is a way to move out of the pocket to and make a pass to a receiver that will be successful and also not get hit why not do so , but my QB Andrew Luck has been staying in the pocket , and i am assuming it's the coaches call .... but man they are grilling us out in the field , the jaguars are suppose to be one of the worst teams in the league and yet we looked like a bunch of rookies... i don't know but my heart was broken this weekend...I'm still trying to wrap my head around it .. alright , alright back to doing laundry before my children wake up .. and going to get some water and other little things ..

peace-

yess

Hanging in there....

It's honestly been the craziest two days , my brain is on a scatter trip .. in my life i have only felt like this a handful of times.. nothing crazy before ,but not this time...it was bad , i couldn't grasp my routine .. like there was a moment where i felt lost , and it wasn't till the end of the day that i was able to get a hold of myself ..literally , maybe because our school day was ending or somehow i regained my energy and focus, I'm not even sure ... but in the end it all worked out .. and I'm not driving myself crazy ... i feel a bit more calm just waking up at this time is no help. everyday I'm up at 3-4 am with my brain at ease...im having mental fights like whyyyyyyy!! i just want to sleeeeep!!! i mean because i will feel it later...and to top it off i have job interview friday , and that makes me nervous, but hopeful ... so i have to get my everything together and get it going!!! ahhhh! yeah I'm feeling the heat ..........however i will the you this ..
homeschooling has it's perks and loopholes, and it takes time to adjust too. its totally different from the public school system .. i prefer (homeschool) over public school. in a lot of ways it's better, see most teachers aren't pay a great deal , and because the aren't i feel like they just kind of give up and just teach to teach ... Not all , but think of it there is no passion or heart in some cases..The reason i even mention something like this is because  i experienced it. And it's really sad and understandable , if that makes any sense . My kids should enjoy learning. Not feel icky when they wake up too go to school only to find out the teacher is always screaming at him or he's being bullied and the teachers disregard those situations..(this shietttt aint cool)  so, instead of making a fuss at the school i take matters into my own hands , and here we are now ..(enough of that )

Overall the day was good , the science lesson was awesome   we had circle time and danced away our day ... thanks too youtube for having all kinds of kiddy songs too dance too that even my one year old joins the fun. ha! back to  another day of schedules and lesson planning ....

peace-

zoe in serious thought while haven and aiden get ready for the camera (kodak moment )

Back at it again...

    Two months ago I would have never thought that I would be homeschooling again. The plan originally was to move to the city and comeback to the valley and get the ball rolling . The boys would go to traditional public school, and that was that. But as you know we make plans and life says  "yeah right"...
      As a parent we know whats best for our children people are always going to have their opinions and criticize our ways , we just can't please everyone .. Whats important is that we seek out whats best for our kids regardless of the worlds view. because at the end of the day we have helped the come along way ... or am i wrong ? I mean we helped them walk , eat , talk etc. you name it .. and not that i don't accept what others tell me its just that I know my kid best thats all.... with all this the good thing is that I have done it before and it's not foreign...
 too be honest I'm excited and nervous but i can't let my little guys see it....its three in the morning and I'm just like wtf! go back to sleep ...(totally off )

..i think I have insomnia (self diagnose) but thats for a different topic..hehe .so what is a mom too do when she has a crazy day ahead of her  write about it , be about it Im kidding about the last part ....so off I go get my lesson ready and get the ball rolling , wait did I say that again...its Monday and I haven't had my coffee so bare with me jibber jabber!!! I love how I can come on here and be like bam !! feelings all laid out and I feel refreshed ...nah literally! i lack friends (on the real) and what better friend than a book or a writing platform..ha! but thats just a whole other conversation. Happy Monday to all !! Mondays still suck for me but I'm a fighter ( not technically , just a saying ) wink, wink. ha!!!!

peace- (throw back lunes)

Half Awake or am I.

I hate being woken up .. by me. yes . It's so hard to fall back asleep with so much on my mind . After leaving the beachyy city things have taken a turn. First of all moving was horrible , i didn't realize that i have so much junk . I say have because I still haven't finished unpacking and organizing , i lack space now and i feel like I'm going crazy.i've hoarded so much that I find it hard too let go , at least  some things... My book shelf broke so all of my books are crying for a shelf .. (exaggerating much) *wink .. *wink... I mean we rented this beautiful apartment in the valley and as beautiful as it is there is no storage space or patio ..The price is crazy but it will do for now , and i need to be grateful. ok ok back to the unpacking it suuuuucks!!! Here I am exactly a week later and i feel stuck . I have been working out , adding some yoga into my routine so that I can take back my sanity .. At one point I felt lost..and the great thing about yoga is that it lets me remind myself that my value is great and there is no reason to feel lost  . In knowing of how privileged I am for being alive and well. I get these moments , that I can't shake off and then boom they are gone. I almost feel all over the place ( mind you thats my normal state) . There is something so great about rebooting my yoga mojo, that I come to terms with, and accept the gift of my stillness.. being a momma isn't always  quiet, but it's rewarding... and I as I type  i start starring into blank walls is that makes an sense ..

so here I am at 1:38 am. California time and i can't sleep ..and in four hours i'll be at the gym half asleep..ahh! man I gonna feel it laterrrrr.. here are just some things that we have been up too lately .. i really love nature it's so pure a genuine ...

sorry , i know I'm ranting away but I'm wiring my head around this insomnia. 

have a good Sunday !!! wink wink....

Typical

So Much and Not enough time

I have been so gone from this space . It's been a gazillion years and counting , I'm half asleep....and i hear snores all around .... ill be back later with updates on this thing called life ..

Lately.....

food never fails

Alexander my oldest was such a gentlemen and gave me these flowers after our mother and son dance.

Zoe such a sweet angel full of light.

Zoe & Orion always having fun while also wanting to have the same toy.. Kids grow up too fast!

How Much More lonely can a women feel?

I am not sure where to start.i feel in a vulnerable place, but with heartache anything can happen.  We resort to the most unconventional places , where trying is no longer relevant.  It's been almost a decade . You would think think that after that long someone would know you good by now? Or is this just my belief? You see no relationship is perfect , no friendship is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and just like other scenarios nothing is perfect. But at what point do we stop trying? ,  When do we just give up ?   After hope and faith has vanished for that person, when can we turn and walk away? All these feelings all balled up in a knot , why?  These are thoughts  and feelings of a  mothers emotional struggle. You know sometimes we forget to be whole. In my experience i've forgotten who i am as a person. because i have others who so depend on me that i just don't know how to let things be about me , till this very moment , this instant . See, when it's all said and done and after i've written this chapter of my life , i will leave my body into an abyss. i would feel like maybe this is what i am meant to  be.. but by the time this actually happens i would have been sad and lonely on the inside. i quiet my head so that it doesn't speak anymore than it has too. And, yet i can't shake off this feeling of loneliness. I once heard  a quote from robin williams that goes " i used to think that the worst thing was to end up alone. it's not. the worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone".  This is powerful. Words are harsh yet so deep. But so is physical acknowledgment. The day you stop showing someone you care is the day you stop feeling it . Not everyone is all about the whole mushy love thing,  and hey i agree , but when you give that person your  all ,  your world and in return they don't show you appreciation and neglects your existence that  ,  is where life changes.  I believe that no one should ever make us feel lonely , but what if you've created this life that involves other human beings , what is a mother too do?

after all  is said and years of fighting over the same thing how can one find hope and faith again ?

this is where my belief is that there is no real fairy tale, love is hard, hard ,hard work, and if one isn't willing or just gives you a mediocre reason  not to change , how is something suppose to change ?

I know that at then end of it all , and speaking as a mother Im starting to feel like my feelings just don't matter anymore. That i have too be willing too suck it up  for the sake of my children even though i hurt inside..... and as i fight my heart and thoughts how do put on a straight face...i know all this is arbitrary,  as we do with all things in life , but how can we change what might not be changeable? how does one face it head on ??

gimme your thoughts..

Zoe likes to eat on her own

She just turn One not too long ago...She is very independent , and likes to basically do it all on her own ... Mind you this was the first time she sat on  her own to eat , without me having to hold her to feed her... and was it interesting ...the pictures tell a million words... But regardless Im proud of her trying out new things.  Growing up is fun !!!

Beauty Products Some new additions....

There are so many organic /vegan products out there. In my opinion some are just to expensive  and I'm always hesitant about making such a purchase. because with three kids , all I can think about is what they need versus what I need. It's a mom thing right? But every now and then it's ok ...

.After taking a quick trip to target last week I found myself browsing through the beauty isles , and just kind of glimpsing around for good stuff that could potentially help my aging skin.. ( not really ) but it's my mental agenda saying this to me . hahah!  And guess what I found ... Some awesome gems. that i know wouldn't leave me broke and would leave me feeling good after my purchase.

I am not a beauty guru , but I know what my skin likes and doesn't ....don't we all?  So far i've collected almost all of ( que bella mask) and put them on different occasions  I have a morning ritual and part of it includes these babies.

Que Bella cost about 1.57 each and up depending on the mask .. The one on the left was so relaxing to my face .. it wasn't organic or vegan but it felt great ...

These are vegan the cream is so smooth and soft . It doesn't have a strong smell it's almost like a light jelly and the mascara  has coconut and vitamin b. I am a huge coconut fan so that was on elf the reasons i bought this mascara. It's light on your eyes ,not all tacky and spidery feeling , the smooth application allows for a nice retouch . They were both under 18 bucks . You can find them at target .. Thats the cool thing about cosmetic shopping at target it's  frugal and fun all in one. By the way this was part of my quick run to target for one item, man target always gets me ..wink wink!

Half Asleep and I still can't feel my eyes

I keep seeking the way that I want to be perceived in the blog world. I have creative ideas and things that I want to do on this particular platform . I just find myself lost on how blogger actually works and what seems to work. Im not sure ,if I can really get an audience by not posting everyday  or what not. However, I have read that the only way to actually be genuine is too be yourself and kind of stick it through without even really trying . My reality is that I've been doing this for a really long time since 2008 , and I still haven't mastered my craft . What, I will say is that the only important craft that have actually mastered is being a mom. And Im guessing that at this  point that is all that matters regardless of what anything. HAPPY SUNDAY TOO ALL THE MOMMYS OUT THERE!

Mother to Mother

What's the worst thing or experience you've ever had with your child?

This happened years ago when my oldest was about a year in a half.  I recall bits in pieces because it was just that long ago.

Havens Febrile Seizure

 

(google search )

Definitional febrile seizure, also known as a fever fit or febrile convulsion, is a seizure associated with a high body temperature but without any serious underlying health issue. They most commonly occur in children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years. Most seizures are less than five minutes in duration and the child is completely back to normal

                It was sometime during the summer in Long Beach in our first apartment in Bixby knolls it was one of those nasty hot summers, where being in a house with no air condition existed ,  I have no idea why they didn't have heaters or air conditioners. But that morning Haven my oldest was getting over his sickness that had been in his system for about a week, and he was already recovering. or so I thought he was . Me and alex felt that he was ok so why not take him to the beach it was basically only right there . So why not go . We called my nephew and niece and invited them to join us. So we drive to their house and pick them up . They hope in the back of the car with haven. As we are driving I turn back to see of he was ok , but he seemed a bit sleepy or just tired, but I thought well he's probably sleepy . So, we get to the beach get out of the car and just go sit on the bare sand , we didn't have a shade or a blanket , the sand felt hot but tolerable. Time passes by were playing volleyball we sit back down and all of a sudden my son passes out . His eyes and tongue rolled back and  he isn't respond . We grab a wipe and try to wet his face with it so the coolness of the wipe can help him freshen up .(mind you the whole time , I'm crying , and sobbing praying and asking god not to take my son)  Nothing , after a quick minute or so we call the ambulance and they are here within minutes, by the time they arrive Haven starts waking up. He's a bit dizzy looks so pale , but I'm just grateful that my son is awake . They take his vitals and strap us to the gurney . Man my heart felt so numb and sad for those minutes ,I couldn't believe this was happening to me . what had I'd done wrong I'm thinking as they take us to the hospital. As we get off the take us to a room , and by this time the doctor us there and ready to help us. My sister and mom are on there way , and I'm so out of it . it's like I'm feeling numb but at the same time out of it , than feeling irresponsible ,because this is all my fault for taking him to a place that he's unaware of . We didn't have too go , I'm so selfish .
The doctor gives his diagnose , he had a febrile seizure where his fever got out of control due to the sun beaming on his head which triggered the fever to spike . I was totally unaware he even had a fever . At this point the doctor said he was ok to be discharged because his vitals were back to normal .

Wow! talk about heartbreaking . For the first time in my life I've felt like something had slipped away from me . I still carry this pain of guilt for what happened to him . After that time I had to be careful because ,the febrile seizure are more common until the age of five . So I'm having to make sure to be careful with him . From that point on I stayed paranoid to take him to the beach whenever he doesn't look well. Or anywhere for that matter. And because of that traumatized event I carry a huge bag full of almost everything. Thermometer, ice packs that are like pebbles and you only use when needed, Emergency kit, Pepto Bismol_ children's pills, waters, extra clothing etc. You name it and more likely I have it in my bag this very moment. we just never know with kids.

It's surprising how one moment , just one moment of irresponsibility can possibly change your life forever.

What I took from this experience ;to carry everything; to be aware of how my children at all times . look and feel too see if they are okay.

 and never to take for granted all the moments I have with them . things happen and we just never know ..........................

 

(he's 7 now ,these were pictures that I took last year when we went up by lake Hemet)

Orion and Haven

Oh my baby boy..

Sunday Rambles

Woke up so early with a mind full ideas and inspiration I start searching things on the Internet . "What its 6 am , awe what ! I'm going to be tired and hungry later " that's exactly what I was thinking . But you know that moment when you have all your creative juices going and there isn't a way too stop it , yeah that's me . Essentially , I was suppose to wake up at 8 ,do yoga and drink a bunch of water  and make myself a green smoothie while my babies slept. Yeah right , instead my children decide to wake up at the same time as me and ask me for a jumbo platter from jack in the crack a.k.a jack in the box . I'm like listen boys it's early I'll get it later , so i rolled out of bed put my hair in a bun and slipped on some sweats , and I'm out the door . Honestly between you and me ,I suck and morning organization and daily rituals . So im driving and i start snapchatting away .  Yeah I'm bored at this point ! and as I'm driving I spot a rainbow, yeah I was totally stoked . mind you that it was about 6 am and the good luck vibes were rolling in .

I guess these little things are what makes my day stand out.  And to top it off I was able to fix my sewing machine after I got home from buying food. It was jammed and in some mysterious good luck fortune I fixed it. I'm telling you I was on a roll .sorry , I just get  excited when good things happen , they may not be grandeous but they feel grand . It's how i look at life . It's never the big things it's the littlest things that get me . And for some strange reason I know that the older ive gotten the more I appreciate simplicity , it brings joy .  I know I'm not going nowhere with this but it's how I'm feeling . 

Ha! It's Sunday ! 

and as much as I'm hanging out this day  calls for a stress free no strings attach type of day . Why ? Because it's a day of gratitude and love . It's Sunday ! ( yeah I know I repeated myself )that's one thing that I try to be consistent with . This daily reminder to breathe , stop and keep it moving , live and embrace the moment . Just like I am now, I am pretty much an all over the place kind of person , and I like that, because I can get over things and not dwell and pitty over things that are out of my control .  Life is about being in the now ,because it's going to be gone tommarrow . And as I'm feeling all these awesome vibes I leave you with the picture of the rainbow I was telling you about . Peace & Light