I'm nervous//Rambles

                 I've been waiting for this moment sometime. I rooted the idea in my brain that this is what's best. That the fact that the teacher always complained about his ninja moves, and the fact that he wouldn't sit still  pulled me more to this very oblivious idea and other things that I rather not go into. Also thinking , how can I engage in his work more . And that time has come .After  a summer of long thoughts, and what ifs and a school year that began rocky, where every other third day something good will come out of his stay at school.

I'm homeschooling tomorrow . Yes ( it's so crazy)

I have all these knots in my belly , my nerves are kicking in , and I can't sleep go figure.  I'm pregnant , and I already have two boys.  One who is two and my oldest is five. No there is nothing wrong with this ....... I'm just full of nerves , anxiety ..

I did a lot of study and research way before his school years , but reality is starting to sink in deep in my brain , that I'm actually going through with it. Honestly , it's really hard to say how this will go , my only experience with home school is my online college classes.. I followed my intuition , and this is what resulted from it, my reality .

However . I am excited, after the states budget cuts where art, and music was yanked out of kids daily schedules , and with this kind of schooling he'll actually be taking both of these electives .Even though my family is against me doing it, this is what's best for him , and dad approves. Being a parent is one of the toughest things yet so rewarding. I can't imagine my life any other way , and part of parenthood  , is  making decisions that maybe others don't approve of. My philosophy is while he's enjoying learning, and is actually learning everything else seems secondary..

(his heart mask well at least that's we called it)

Off we go together Haven and I , in this journey ...

Mondays

A day to reflect and pause. With time being consumed by our daily rituals , just a quiet Monday. .....Blessed to have another week ahead of us......

Happy Birthday

To my best friend, and the best dad ever.
Yesterday was a day full of fun, cake and a lot of family bonding.

the park // my solution

A week or so ago , after speaking to my sons teacher , she mention that my son was an overactive child. At that point I didn't know what she meant or if she was stating something that I wasn't seeing. I got nervous, and I panicked. I guess I was just trying to make out what she had said. I want to believe that maybe it's just a stage or time where boys want to go crazy and are just be really active.  This really has my mind going .. I'm bugged and alarmed .With time on my hands , and that on my mind I have somewhat come up with a solution, to find a place where he can run free without breaking my bank..

What else and where else , than the park. It was so full , and I get anxiety with so many people in one place , but I have to suck it up and not think about that  All in all,  Haven and Orion had a lot of fun, made new little friends. That by the time we drove back home(which is like 5 minutes from our house) they were both were out , asleep.

  

Birthdays// Growing Up

I've been gone

I have taken sometime . Which seems like random time but time to reflect . There is so much crap and other things going on . I've seem to lost track of time .  All I can say is that maybe I just need to be more focused on what's going on now then , everything else . I care too much , I'm guilty . But I'm starting to realize its in vain .   With this baby coming , I have to just check my surroundings so that my harmones become stable. Being a mom isn't always easy , but it's fun . So cheers to a new start this month .