Mental ....

This is such a hard topic , it hits home from all angels .

As a child I was bullied a lot , beat up daily by my own cousin for years I never spoke up about it to my mother because , it was the only place we could afford to live with my aunt.  In a way I was aware but hurting and suffering .

I just wasn't the type of child who made life complicated for my mother because ,she was trying her best and I didn't went to mortify her.

In the years following  I had a lot of headaches and sometimes I wonder  if what I have has some connection to what I suffer. Who knows..

I've had chronic depression or years , took medication and it made me feel suicidal so I vowed never to take medication  again .

How do I deal with it ??

I fight a lot with my head ,  my soul  basically all of me ..

I just have to fight .. and sometimes I hate myself for how much  I do ..

The cope mechanism  is crazy ........

It's a lonely melancholic battle

I don't know how Alex deals with me , but I am grateful for how much he has helped me...

Recently I woke up with  an Anxiety Attack , my body was just hurt too much  I felt like running  and loosing myself so I can't feel this  pain ..

Im hoping to come out of these feelings alive and well , I know I will
but if you know someone struggling be there for them in anyway possible .