Religion ?

         I don't speak about religion much , it seems like such a sensitive topic a lot of the times. For , that reason I like to keep my distance when it comes to the things that I might say. Out of respect really, but I am feeling like  I should really speak on this today.

      A little over ten years ago I made a choice , a choice that really turned over a new leaf for me spiritually. I'm not sure what it was or how it happen, but during this time a lot of things were going on in my life. In that time , my brother and sister had found a new religion through his dad.  Mind you I had heard about this religion through high school, and I never was really interested. Being raised a catholic , well that's all I've really ever known.   I practice my faith , but not with such intensity .

    So, when my sister and brother were investigating this other faith ,  which later they baptized .  Of course leaving the catholic church , because they just never went anyways.  It all sounded , good during that time and I eventually converted . Quite frankly, your surrounded by extremely nice people , that it's almost uncomfortable, you interact so much   it's almost like a tiny community . This is something that I was never used too , it was just so, so different.  When I converted to the Mormon faith , a lot comes with it . You have visiting teaching , elders come over for dinner . You go to meetings maybe twice a week . ( maybe i'm just lazy).  And, if  I am honest it's tough the routine.  Religion should never be tough , it should come easy , simple. You go to church in and out and that's it. But it's not , it's more than that . There is a 2hour Sunday block school,  and when you have kids things are just different.  There seems to be a higher expectation . But it's never stuck with me . To go to church everyday , or make it a priority.

 But.....

One of the reasons that I lack going is because the faith is predominately White. The number of blacks and Hispanics is small, and I just have always found that uncomfortable.(with everything going on NOW)  I've never really gotten over it. I hear , yeah we are all children of god , and no one is judging .

No , you can feel the judging and gut feelings don't lie. I however , feel like my kids are missing out on activities,  more godly  interactions.  Then I come back to a realization that no there not missing out , they pray when at home , we speak about god when we are home.  Then maybe  something has to change , I've been at a lost for so long .

  But what can I change ..... it's tough .

Maybe , I am just giving it too much thought. I can't change my catholic ways, I believe in saints but I love knowing I have scriptures for guidance that I got at my LDS church .

As , you see it's all odd and religion seems confusing because I believe in God and just when I think I have religion and what I need to do figured out boom, something stops me .

Heres the million dollar question (per say ) how do you follow one faith without conflicting with what your emotions of what to do that is right ? and not feeling like your letting yourself down at the same time? or How about just not caring  about everything else?

No, this is how my brain works. I can't seem to shake it off.

Yeah , I  know it's odd. Confusing , and I hope one day I can figure it out.