It's that time .. a little of this and SPORTS





 Next week my Ind. COLTS play my husbands RAIDERS... great way to start the season...  for now , LET'S GO RED SOX!!! LET'S GO RED SOX!!!! they came in with a win today , and yesterday against the Orioles.....
Much love to you all. and tell me , do you like watching sports????





it's that time MLB season. ah what a bliss full moment  in time. a fun fact: I am a huge sports fan... (pretty obvious) on top of that my team is doing well, and we just won today and guess what ? it was on TV, out here in the west coast. Boston is a east team, so I get to watch Limited games. But when I do , man I am hyped. On top of this greatness, I finally found a NBA team I will rooting for " CHICAGO BULLS'' (I LIKE MICHAEL JORDAN. HE'S NOT THERE ANYMORE, BUT THIS TEAM REMINDS ME OF HIM, IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH) . THINGS ARE GREAT. HAHAHHAHA!! (just had to throw that in there) iam off to switching channels , there are just so many on my u-verse...  happy wed. !!! <3 hearts to you world.

This past weekend: birthday, family , oh what a day

On Saturday I gathered with my family from out of town. It was so hot and my son wasn't feeling all there. Luckily, my sister came by and gave me a boost of energy . I was all bummed out , because at one point I thought that my kid was just way to sick and I wouldn't be able to enjoy them much . This all changed (thank god). Mind you it was so freaking hot. Like something so ridiculous. Ugh! i can't wait till we move!!!!!!!! I still ended up driving up to the valley in 100 degree plus weather. (Cali your no fun anymore). I drove all by myself through a canyon. AH!!!!

But it was fun I can't complain. Sucks that Alex couldn't come . Overall I had good time , full of laughs, jokes, and lots of serious talks about the education system and IQ levels. Random , sure is . But I thank good for these kinda family hangouts and party's that  bring us together.

Here are a couple of fotos from the main event.:: drum roll pleassseeeeee.......

the nephew

mia familia



the heat was melting away the chocolatte'



Haven and Orion  minecrafting

many more smiles too come

brother, my sister and sister in law (gosh they are amazing)

my beautiful mother

never a dull moment when everyone is feeling fine, and we all gather for some good fun.

M.I.A (well sometimes )

It seems as if I have been gone a really long time.There has been so much going on. Havens school, birthday parties, Alex and his job. On top of it all , my page was down  ( not sure why).
It's been great don't get me wrong . I love being so occupied with  life lately. And the routine makes it that much easier, even though sometimes it's hard to follow. Of course I am still here and still on debate mode about a lot of things.  On another note , Haven and I worked on his first homework assignment (his classroom caddie) . We posted a million (exxagerating a bit) stickers, so it seemed with the small spaces that we had to work with. It was so much fun .Then after leaving it at school today he threw a big , big fit about not wanting to leave it at school.  Uh hu!.  Other then that it has been good taking him to school and knowing that he loves it so much.

what is right as a parent..

I had an awkward situation the past couple of weeks or so. Things have been rough around here and when aren't they. It's life and things happen. Since my son started school, I have been feeling a tad bit sad , and depressed. The fact that he's gone for so long really Carry's with  me through the day. I have a hard time of letting go an all. But , it's simply thee idea  of what is right. The first day of school was a huge struggle. the second day was different . When I went over to pick Haven up , the teacher had opened the door and my son tried immediately to run out, the teacher grabbed him and said no , you need to wait ok. My son broke into tears in front of all the parents waiting. This really broke my heart. I mean I couldn't believe that he was so sad . Then after eventually  going and picking him up , I asked the teacher how was he through the day , her response "OK", she then just looked away and proceeded with the other parents.  In a way it made me uncomfortable. I ask , my son what was wrong, " mommy i missed you. Wow, I can only imagine what the feels like . The second day when I am about to drop him off, he says mom come with me . I tell him I can't and that he is brave ,that I'll be back to get him.

Ok mom. He walks off on his on own, slowly with his head down. This whole time I am wondering if this is the right way  to detach from my child . Being with him 24-7 and never leaving him with anyone and then suddenly i just do. How can I know this is right . Is he going to resent me. Will this loneliness create some kind of empty hole in his heart. I always try my best to keep telling him how much I love him , and how much he means to me................... and all this is making me feel like I could do more. I am yet to find out what else I could do to make him feel safe .. With his constant  crying when I pick him up, I am wondering if what  I am doing is right. With the need to get back to work, this is dawning on me.

Vinyls on Vinyls

so far i have badu,fugees,the strokes, portishead,the doors and other random sample sounds. simple oasis of good music and love for the things in the past.

my stash.



i found this awesome record store downtown.



thrift: sometimes it's just so rad, you gotta have it.

i love old findings. somethings just have a story and they become and inspiration for future plannings. i found this awesome travel briefcase. It was super love at first sight. (if that exist then this is it). About a week or two ago , we stopped by this thriftt store by my house called" savers".  There are just so many neat things . But for some reason I was drawn to this particular piece.

 Future plans we are taking a big trip up north in a month and what makes a trip cooler , then vintage luggage. ( this trip was planned right when we found this ) funny shit.

First Day Of School

 

one of the hardest times . i never thought this day would come so soon. It was surreal. bittersweet. H first day of school. where did the time go. at first he was excited , then he started making excuses. First he coughed and said that he was sick, so he couldn't go to school. Then he said it was closed. Lastly , he was scared. I think that the fear of me not being there is what sets us apart when it comes to having an Independence from each other. I know that days before and even months before I anticipated  and yet really wished that this day wouldn't come. I cried so much . It's difficult for me to let go of my kids. I am afraid of the world and what it has to offer. I have no choice. But we still managed to survive it. When I walked away , my heart broke into a million pieces. This moment dawns on me so much . because this will become his journey for the next twelve years. I am wishing for the best . Praying to God that he takes good care of my little guy. And as we picked him up , he said he liked it , and that he had fun.  He is really looking forward to going back everyday. It's a good feeling when your child is able to accept a very drastic change. I know he will do just fine. and it makes me happy if he's happy.

Jagged little pill



These past two days I have been feeling a little stuck. I am wanting a bit of a change, a more nature kinda atmosphere. Living in the valley really blows. There isn't much to do without driving somewhere , with the sun beaming over you. The worst part is that we are stuck with a brand new lease, that we signed back in June. We basically had to if not we were going ot pay an arm and a  leg for this place. There are just days that I want to drive off into the mountains and just stay there. I live far from my family , and have no friends. Literally. I think it's sad that I can't even make mom friends, but that's just the way it is. (besides the point)My husband may also be feeling the heat of wanting to move and it's really starting to dawn on him.

On Saturday he had a soccer game , came home we ate and took off. I told him that I had to go to the market and that we should stop by a thrift store , just to see something different. And so we found this place called "savers". For a really long time I thought it wa s a super market. ( i felt dumb , once I walked in)obviously it wasn't, this place is huge, really huge . I felt homey , like different when I walked in . I guess when you struggle and set your foot in a place where one knows OK , it's gonna be good and cheap , and even if i shop here Ill still be able to eat, then that's when life feels like life .  I was amazed by everything , the books, vinyls, old school art work, clothing , etc.  With all these thoughts in my head , and feeling  shitty , I got away into my oasis.

Obviously <  i didn't come out empty handed  . ( ill make a post on my finding on Tuesday)

But as we walked out of this place Alex and I sat in the car quiet for a while , looked at each other . The words out of his mouth were , "babe we need something more, a change"it's almost like he read my mind. We do right , I'm hating the struggle, and the lack of freedom we have . As most couples, we are hitting rock bottom with the exception of our sanity. We are holding each other by the hand in this struggle. Even though shit is rough , and we want a change , we have to weigh it out , once our lease is up and fly like the wind. Venture into hopefully a new state of calmness, serenity , and a more humble living.

With all this said , I was thinking of starting the happy project . It will be a project that talks about positive changes that Ill be making daily in order to be more in tune with myself. ALONG WITH THRIFT HAPPY GO LUCKY DAYS.

this should be interesting.



Game Day



i am a big football fan. Guess what , "it's pre-season....My team doesn't play until Monday  (COLTS). But yesterday we watched the raiders play the cowboys , had shrimp cocktails,beers and a darn good time.



Women Wednesday



Frida



Nights



I wish I was here. This day was so much fun. It's such a sorta lonely night, since Alex had to go in to work on his day off.

 



Heaven.

Moments: Growing up.Brotherly bonds.

Need of a change : Semi-Raw

WTF Mondays!

Woke this morning , my first thought " coffee". You know it's just one of those days that I am just like , "gimme some coffee (zombie mode)." Of course, I got my butt out of bed and drove into the mornings mist. Shit , it's Monday? oh yeah , lets do this )attitude not intended.<===

hahahh. inside joke . well it's Monday and I have become a drag. ugh!

I fell asleep so early last night . I don't know what hit me.  It has become just one of those days and I am thinking on starting a Monday post called wtf it's Monday. what do you think , to graphic? nah maybe just right.  and craft post Tuesdays....hey I am finding my one direction........( aircraft thought)

So here it goes....

wtf Mondays! <===== exclamation and all. yeeha!

Here is what is kinda troubling . I am in search of a job (yeeeeeh)! but guess what ?  the only thing I've worked in is retail, warehouse and an ice cream parlor. (lame ).  And the job search is hectic ..... why ? because I have such a narrow  work field , that I am feeling a bit stupid. I want a good job. It's that time in my life where a retail job isn't gonna pay the bills. Well only for the gas. and with living expenses here in California  (it sucks).

School , yeah I am in school. but that isn't gonna be fully done until maybe in two and maybe three years.  that's a long time...... and meanwhile what should I do? ( i ask myself this)... now a days no one really hires without experience or education... ( i graduated high school , that's education) but I mean being in hundreds of dollars in debt kinda of education. or going into a trade school worth about forty grand.  And yet what kinda job can I get ? I've heard different things like, get a job that will make you happy or study something that's gonna pay you well. ( this is confusing) different ideas, and thoughts and I am back at zero.  yeah , i am still looking for a job. and I will keep searching .

no matter what .

I hate how money is always an issue for everything. 

but i am hopeful that , ill score my dream job, that's well paid, while still going to school. faith is strength.  so no matter what the deal is with my retail rap sheet, employers I am coming for you.. (my loud self motivation)

my outlet of hope.

Stoked: New Beginings and ideals of the mind

way before Christmas , i chopped off all my hair in wake of a new time in my life.
There is just so much going on in my life. I am sure living a life of sometimes hardship and strife. I mean who doesn't. But after the storm comes the calm wind. (my own so to speak saying).
With crazy transitions, new ideas , and firm mind sets it's that time . to turn over a new leaf. I never thought I'd get to this place .I am here . I am living the present.and in the now I want to stay . I've come a long way spiritually and solely to feel full. It's really hard to explain at times where i am coming from . understatements throw me off, and this is the best I could do. While making drastic decisions, and deciding what is in the best interest of my little family, maybe I kinda decided to give myself this. a moment of subtle reflection. stability and quite calmness. that at one time or another I sort of fall off from. the fact that I am alone 24-7 makes me a tad bit crazy , but centered.(if that makes any sense).the circle of life i live in is hopefully coming back full circle with light and a lot of great energy. my emotions are a traveling gypsy. I've conquered the good the bad and the ugly . And in conclusion I've come up with "this is now my time to follow this dream".

Via -Love

I fell in love with this Image. it's almost like you feel in tune . maybe a bit of an "out of this world feeling". my many reason why I love tumblr.

The perks of technology : insta stuff .

It was a heck of ride : yesterday and today , rambles

ramble nowhere.

Bubbles.Leaves: Our tiny backyard

Troubles and things

Orion : growing up so fast