Things and Things...

In the middle of a large job hunt, I am feeling a little nervous. Why? well because , I haven't worked in four years and I am feeling rusty. But , I am optimistic and know that all things will come together eventually (that's my hope). I mean nothing is easy when one is starting up again,  its a tad bit difficult . Just really crossing my fingers on something .

Lately, I've been feeling a bit shitty (excuse my bluntness) I kinda know why but I am gonna just blame it on the weather, that's viable right?.  I've come to terms on letting go , because I am so tired of trying and I keep getting let down.. How much is too much? Family has always been all to me , but when they don't want to budge our take one in consideration, that's when I turn over a new leaf in life. It's sad to say this but it's the truth . I mean if they talk to me good if not well, then that's  that . i can't be up for when they have the time or feel like talking . Fuck , give me so credit why don't you  and guess what "THEY DON'T". Yeah, it's stupid and immature at times , but I am human and that doesn't change me from feeling how I do. That's why I've decided on just letting myself live and enjoy ... Worrying less about these things and having the courage to finally express it . So yeah that's that.

My vegetarian journey is becoming something so dear to my heart, just because it's something that I look forward too and love doing. It's different to me and I enjoy it. It's kinda when you meet someone so rad and instantly become friends and you enjoy spending time with this certain someone, yeah that's me but without the someone , (laughing at myself). 

I've come up with my own recipes, and it's better then I expected. Talking about that , Alex and I were having a conversation about vegans and vegetarians he asks why not just become a vegan you know. My answer was simple, I can't i love baking and most of the recipes require eggs or sometimes cream , plus it might be hard to bake without these ingredients. I haven't looked at it much , on how to bake without those products , and when I do I'll try it and see first. It's be life change  being vegan because you change everything , hair products , soap, detergents, cleaning stuff etc. So for now Ill live this lifestyle . embrace it ... The truth is that the reason that I became a vegetarian was for health reasons. Every time I ate red meat, or chicken I felt sick to my stomach, so I'd start slowly avoiding it. Then when I did , there were sharp pains in my stomach that made me want to purge . That's just gross.  And really it's been good, I feel lighter and a more clear headed. My anxiety is a tad bit more controlled, and I love it.

Needless to say I hope that slowly I can bring my little family on this journey, too a more clean and healthier way of living.