I am not sure why , but for the past couple of days my mind is so active that it leaves me sleepless. There is always something unsettling about this lack of sleep. I hate that i can't sleep. I have been so tired and maybe it was the weekend of fun that I might still be dragging on . but it's not fun. You know when you have that long day ahead and you had no sleep , and while running errands your sleep starts kicking in (yes , that's gonna be me today). So , I resort to my blog , to feed my thoughts.With the move coming up soon, and finding a place , it's been a drag. And maybe this is the reason that my mind has been so out of control. (rambling on my bad)
Not only that ,but the fact that I am so unsure what I want to study , and with school meetings also arising, I question whether I am destined to be a professional. I love being a mum, and the idea of my kids growing up leaves me feeling weary, so I am not sure what to do with this . There are times that I wish I could live in a city full of trees and clean air so I can have a clearer thinking process. The city feeling; blocks me and leaves me feeling overwhelmed, given that it moves so fast.
I believe that I need to follow my dream, but I have to wait for the right time, and I want to know whats my next step before deciding to make the next move .(already doing this)
As for now, I am gonna try my best to fall back asleep and try to take it day by day , i have repeated this to myself a bazillion times no lie. At this point, I just have to own my words and focus.
On ANOTHER note:
Getting back on track has been a big downfall for me, I stopped working out, and I have just become so bland that it's killing me. Ill take baby steps again and again until I learn to stand still mentally.
I will say this , I have an amazing husband and wonderful kids , and with patience i can overcome my insomnia and stop my train of thoughts.
I feel a little better now and I think I can go back to sleep in a serene state of mind . ( i am crossing my fingers).
xo-yess
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