Being A Ma-ma

Before I became a mother , i never really ever pondered on what it was that i wanted to be when I grew up .I always hear stories about the ultimate dream .  What is the ultimate dream ? I don't think that it really exist when we are small. Or at least that is what it seems to me . I just believe that things happen as our lives move on . We make choices and we do what we want . Maybe, your asking well what does that have to do with being a mom ... It's just that . I don't think that being a mom was my ultimate goal when I was little , I played with dolls and all , but I never wanted to be one. I saw my mother struggle during our up bringing , that I dreaded the idea of ever becoming one.  The thought of  it was my biggest fear, and I always thought that I would suck at it,anyways.  I knew that I wanted to travel the world and just be free. This wasn't exactly what happened. Forward , twenty-five years I had my first son  and that's when all changed. The way I thought and the way I felt. I'm not gonna lie it has been hard , hard in the sense that I don't trust anyone with my kids so I've never been on a solo date with my husband . It's been over five years . I guess no one ever tells you how overprotective you can become , or how untrustworthy humans can be in the eye of a parent.  If that makes any sense. There are the days of fun and nothing but laughter and then there are those days of , shit !.  All in all i can say that my children have taught me a lot , and till this day they still are.  I'm starting to wonder if this what I'm meant to do . If this  is my purpose. Motherhood comes with  territory and with a lot  doing things that at one point in my life I never thought of doing.  I love being a mom . This isn't a job it's a gift that was given to me by the lord. I want to raise my children to be contributors to the world while being respectful young men. Where old traditions meet the new era.  Maybe it's a lot to ask for . I know it's do able.  I love it . (motherhood)  Each day is so different .  Even though I didn't have an ultimate dream , this became  my ultimate blessing.  
 Being called, MOM and hearing the words, I LOVE YOU MOM are the sweetest words in the world .