Friday

 Quiet .  

Reality

It's crazy how as a mom we are suppose to keep our composure , not cry, and just be strong . At one point we all become vulnerable to life. At least this is my case. I know I need to be well for my babies and for the most part I am. But so much has been going on , that it's almost suffocating . I hate having to make decisions that can affect us in the long run .  I just want to hide underneath my blanket and sleep, so I don't have to think. my brain loves doing a number on me. I don't want to feel this , I want to know that our situation is going to improve ... But in reality it isn't. The one thing I can't do to myself is lie to myself because than I hear  myself contradicting myself . If that makes any sense . I haven't been able to take my ideas out of the closet , I'm scared . shit ! i'm not suppose to be .
im rambling .. ill just leave it there.

good night!

Days on in.

I mean this literally. I don't have many pictures , but these are from what we have been up to.

we choose to be funky. It's genetic... 

How time has really passed us by . Zoe turned two this past weekend , and she is so miss independent . My boys are forever silly , and big. Honestly if someone was to say hey your kids are gonna grow , and that would be it , i wouldn't believe it. I love seeing them grow up .. Homeschooling them is rewarding , I get too spend a lot of time with them , and create memories that otherwise wouldn't happen if you they were in regular school.  In my opinion , it's the best way to go . The schools are changing so awkwardly , bullying is so common . Kids are socializing with other agendas , or so it seems. Not all schools are bad , I have seen some that still fall in the "good " scenario.  But as far as choice this has been mine. 

Honestly, I love it , and even though we are loaded with work, it's them being home with me , makes them feel safe .